Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Lost Touch
Took out my guitar; was playing it for over an hour…my fingers are sore now…haven’t played it in a very long while, was never good at it anyways, I only knew the basic chords…wish I could get better, I think my guitar is out of tune…I think my strumming is offbeat now…so sad…at least I still can get the basic tune of the song…
Took out my plastic case from my personal box…where I kept my stuff and wanted no one near it…saw song sheets with chords I collected from youth last time...but that’s not the most valuable thing I found in there…
I found songs I written and 2 which has melody…it was dated back in 2005…what happened to me after I left for college? Was it a time factor or has my passion changed? What was I dreaming off back then? Somehow all that doesn’t seem to be possible now…LOST TOUCH…I guess so…
~ ~ ~ ~
A person's character u can never change…all u can do is to be there for them…
I see it going on; and after all these while to see you striving hard to hang on to it cuz you told me how precious it is to you…its somehow something I should take as a reminder to myself; no one can help you keep it and no one is to be blamed when you loose it…
It all comes down to yourself; how much it means and how much are you willing to sacrifice for it…
~ ~ ~ ~
Within these 5 to 6 months, I’ve ventured much more than I ever did in my past 18 years of life…I’ve learned more and by far the hardest journey I ever walked…the struggles are still going on…but I think its worth writing it down so I can take a look at it as I grow older…
My experiences are not what everyone can fathom or go through…my course mates say I wish I could exchange brains with you…then I would reply; if you have my brain, there are so much things in it till I think you’ll end up complaining about it…greater understanding comes greater responsibility…
I display different levels of maturity depending on the people I associate with at that point of time…is it called faking my identity or is it called camouflaging into the social world just to fit in?
People you find that can truly be yourself at that point of time; I’ve found a few…but not all lasts…wish they could but they don’t…find them, treasure them…though it’s only possible if you were given a chance or else you just see them walk away from you…
Suddenly I am at a lost for words…
~ ~ ~ ~
What do I seek for in life? Sometimes things seem vague…at times its clear but these crystal visions only last for a moment…
I hate to loose…it’s a nature that was planted in me since young…I don’t strive to be the best then I’ll see the cane coming my way and I’ll flee all over the house crying for help…
I was born naughty and mischievous…I think that explains the scars I have on my head…I’ll never forget the time I saw blood when I touched my head…you never knew how hard you hit me; I never told…would it make you feel bad if you knew? Well don’t bother now…but somehow these scars leaves painful memories…wish you knew before you laid your hand on me…
So I feel I’m living my life planned by someone else…my achievements are a result of fear…the fear in my soul will no longer leave me…as I await my results now, I am freaking scared if I got a b…but I’ve tried my best…do as you wish…I may only disappoint you…
~ ~ ~ ~
The story of these few months; I choose to lock it up inside me till another time…there’s too much to say…
~ ~ ~ ~
Life is hard but I will never choose to end it…I know I’ve got a Savior that walks with me in my everyday life…touched by the Footprint poem…wish those out there who feel despaired and lonely knows this someone I call my Friend…a companion that will never leave my side…that’s how I survived this far…helping me forgive and move on, comforting me and my provider in times of need…and all I can do is say Thank You; and spread the love You’ve given me to those who need it…
Took out my plastic case from my personal box…where I kept my stuff and wanted no one near it…saw song sheets with chords I collected from youth last time...but that’s not the most valuable thing I found in there…
I found songs I written and 2 which has melody…it was dated back in 2005…what happened to me after I left for college? Was it a time factor or has my passion changed? What was I dreaming off back then? Somehow all that doesn’t seem to be possible now…LOST TOUCH…I guess so…
~ ~ ~ ~
A person's character u can never change…all u can do is to be there for them…
I see it going on; and after all these while to see you striving hard to hang on to it cuz you told me how precious it is to you…its somehow something I should take as a reminder to myself; no one can help you keep it and no one is to be blamed when you loose it…
It all comes down to yourself; how much it means and how much are you willing to sacrifice for it…
~ ~ ~ ~
Within these 5 to 6 months, I’ve ventured much more than I ever did in my past 18 years of life…I’ve learned more and by far the hardest journey I ever walked…the struggles are still going on…but I think its worth writing it down so I can take a look at it as I grow older…
My experiences are not what everyone can fathom or go through…my course mates say I wish I could exchange brains with you…then I would reply; if you have my brain, there are so much things in it till I think you’ll end up complaining about it…greater understanding comes greater responsibility…
I display different levels of maturity depending on the people I associate with at that point of time…is it called faking my identity or is it called camouflaging into the social world just to fit in?
People you find that can truly be yourself at that point of time; I’ve found a few…but not all lasts…wish they could but they don’t…find them, treasure them…though it’s only possible if you were given a chance or else you just see them walk away from you…
Suddenly I am at a lost for words…
~ ~ ~ ~
What do I seek for in life? Sometimes things seem vague…at times its clear but these crystal visions only last for a moment…
I hate to loose…it’s a nature that was planted in me since young…I don’t strive to be the best then I’ll see the cane coming my way and I’ll flee all over the house crying for help…
I was born naughty and mischievous…I think that explains the scars I have on my head…I’ll never forget the time I saw blood when I touched my head…you never knew how hard you hit me; I never told…would it make you feel bad if you knew? Well don’t bother now…but somehow these scars leaves painful memories…wish you knew before you laid your hand on me…
So I feel I’m living my life planned by someone else…my achievements are a result of fear…the fear in my soul will no longer leave me…as I await my results now, I am freaking scared if I got a b…but I’ve tried my best…do as you wish…I may only disappoint you…
~ ~ ~ ~
The story of these few months; I choose to lock it up inside me till another time…there’s too much to say…
~ ~ ~ ~
Life is hard but I will never choose to end it…I know I’ve got a Savior that walks with me in my everyday life…touched by the Footprint poem…wish those out there who feel despaired and lonely knows this someone I call my Friend…a companion that will never leave my side…that’s how I survived this far…helping me forgive and move on, comforting me and my provider in times of need…and all I can do is say Thank You; and spread the love You’ve given me to those who need it…
i know that i have loved you ... at 4/25/2007 04:36:00 PM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities