Monday, June 4, 2007

I heard the disappointment in your voice when you called after class this morning…

I felt the disappointment after my last class of the day…

I guess I did not do my best; I dare not say I have tried really hard and I do not deserve this…cuz in the end I know I did not do my best…

But to see these 3 people make it for the excellence award and me only making it to the merit award…I am very much devastated…

I will to do much better this semester but the subjects I am taking are far more complicated; my lecturers are more strict than ever…counting the circumstances and my current condition things seem impossible…I dare not dream for now…

I am reminded of these words…with higher hopes comes greater disappointment…

I am in utter devastation…

Just got off the phone with you again…what more do you expect of me…I know I keep telling myself all these is not important but I fear you the most…can’t you see it? I dare not tell you they got excellence award and I didn’t…I know what your reaction will be…I hate to be compared with them…

I just want to be me; but I find that being me sucks…its sucks big time…I’m stressed out and nothing is going right…

*Devastated…