Sunday, May 6, 2007
I'm coming home, Father
Somehow the idea of leaving home gets to me…it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way…
Am I back to my old self again? Can I once again feel things around me besides you?
It’s a progress yet it’s not a joyful thing to be away from home at times…4 months is pretty long…I will miss home…
I could see my mom wants me to be home for mother’s day dinner…I could tell by every word she says she really wants me home to share her inner feelings…I could tell by the tone of her voice she puts her last hopes on me…and I am sure she will make me cry tomorrow when I leave my room; before I enter the departure gates…that’s why I never want to look back, cuz I’ll cry when I see you cry…
And I cannot disappoint her again…I should keep my results perfect like this semester…achieve excellent awards for each long semester…if my brother can do it why can’t I? I’ll try my best to achieve what you want me to…just believe me…I know what I’m doing…and I’ve got a great God who’s got my back!!!
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My honest confession to make; I haven’t been to church in a long time…
Though it’s not regular I do read my bible; and I definitely do pray…
But somehow this trip back here has made me realize it isn’t enough…I slacked…and with time my faith is decreasing…I let all these things come in my way…I couldn’t see the path clearly anymore…
Its time I take a step back in life…I took my time to realize how important my God is for me…how I forsaken Him when I focused on other things and these thoughts brought tears to me…knowing that without God; I am nothing; my achievements are just trophies…but with God; my life is made whole…
And so I take a public stand today that I no longer want to slack…putting my trust back in the firm foundation I have in Christ…All things are possible; I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all other things will be added onto you…
Jeremiah 29:11…I will hold on to the promises you have for my life, and answer to the purpose you have for my life!
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Fishy ~ I thought things through this few days and tried to let things loose…there were world winds of emotions but I finally fought through them…
Like I said it’s a new beginning and I’m gonna try…for the sake of my life, my family, and the people around me who actually cares if I’m ok, especially you…
There are so much things about this great God to be discovered; it only happens when we open our hearts fully to Him…I still have a lot to learn and experience…it’s the comfort I felt when I was sore; dwelling in God’s presence…with worship songs and in reading the bible…its just an awesome feeling…
It’s true what you said…I felt renewed…I listened to this song and I cried “He knows my name”…maybe I’ll save it for you in my external…I was so stupid in just focusing on issues that I can’t control or change…letting physical things bring me down and crack my life…but with this song, its an affirmation that I have a Father who never left my side; who holds me close when no one was there; who knew when I shed a tear and wiped it away…hears me when I call and I am certain God holds me to sleep every night…this is the 1 saviour I wish to share with the people around me…
Glad to see you in such good shape…I’ll see you next weekend^^…this Rabbit loves ya lots too!!!
i know that i have loved you ... at 5/06/2007 02:47:00 AM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities