Saturday, June 16, 2007
I dissapointed everyone
I am a person with pure pride…so I have realized after last night’s phone call…and for the first time I didn’t bother to call back after you hung up on me…have this heart turned cold?
I don’t like my life being interrupted or taken control off…I don’t like things to get out of hand…
I don’t like to talk about things that points out my failures in life…I’d rather take it alone no matter how much it hurts… I had enough and I had a lot of problems at hand that I didn’t want to talk about…I just hide things in me…
And I certainly don’t like to give explanations of my own behavior…I have my reasons…
It seems that I have turned more ignorant to matters but the feeling is dreading my conscience…I know I shouldn’t have done what I did…I know I should have called back…
And I just got off the phone with you again; this time I made the call and I could sense your disappointment…you sounded so cold and I got scared…maybe I just didn’t appreciate it when you tried to care and when now you act like you don’t care at all I just feel uneasy…
I’m still thinking about what you said “Just remember when you decide to escape, don’t look back”
Maybe in the end I can’t do it after all…fear is all I have in me right now…
Fear of rejection, fear of being alone; I thought I could live with it but what the heck…every human cannot withstand either loneliness or rejection…
All they want to feel is to be loved and when the world backs out on them things starts to go wrong…
Care triggers emotions and reactions…ignorance only comes when there is utterly a slight connection; it doesn’t trigger concern…hate and love is total opposite of each other but they have 1 thing in common; it’s because there is feeling towards another person…but when ignorance come in, it just means that one is forgotten, left behind or just all along didn’t matter that much…
~Drowned in sorrows and memories~
I don’t like my life being interrupted or taken control off…I don’t like things to get out of hand…
I don’t like to talk about things that points out my failures in life…I’d rather take it alone no matter how much it hurts… I had enough and I had a lot of problems at hand that I didn’t want to talk about…I just hide things in me…
And I certainly don’t like to give explanations of my own behavior…I have my reasons…
It seems that I have turned more ignorant to matters but the feeling is dreading my conscience…I know I shouldn’t have done what I did…I know I should have called back…
And I just got off the phone with you again; this time I made the call and I could sense your disappointment…you sounded so cold and I got scared…maybe I just didn’t appreciate it when you tried to care and when now you act like you don’t care at all I just feel uneasy…
I’m still thinking about what you said “Just remember when you decide to escape, don’t look back”
Maybe in the end I can’t do it after all…fear is all I have in me right now…
Fear of rejection, fear of being alone; I thought I could live with it but what the heck…every human cannot withstand either loneliness or rejection…
All they want to feel is to be loved and when the world backs out on them things starts to go wrong…
Care triggers emotions and reactions…ignorance only comes when there is utterly a slight connection; it doesn’t trigger concern…hate and love is total opposite of each other but they have 1 thing in common; it’s because there is feeling towards another person…but when ignorance come in, it just means that one is forgotten, left behind or just all along didn’t matter that much…
~Drowned in sorrows and memories~
i know that i have loved you ... at 6/16/2007 11:16:00 AM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities